Maria

Maria and youngest son Nick at Nick and Kristina's wedding, Sept. 8, 2012

My wonderful, wonderful friend. Maria.

Maria was my neighbor in Patterson, CA, then population 8,000, in the early 1990s. She was then a single mom with three young sons of her own. My first wife Candy used to babysit Maria's sons. Maria and Candy had been friends. After Candy died, in April 1991, I was suddenly a single father with a 180 mile, four hour a day, commute from Patterson to San Jose and back.

Maria became a huge part of my life. She watched my sons, drove my cars, took the kids to school and came and went in my house right up until I moved to San Jose. We were best friends.

Maria would walk in the front door without knocking, that was normal for us. Sometimes she might just walk in and borrow my muffin pans and leave. Other times she would come over with her three boys and she and I would make dinner together with our combined six sons. Like a big family we would all hang out, talk and laugh until bed time for the boys.

She is a wonderful, lively woman. Everybody in Patterson, knew Maria. She has this amazing outgoing down to earth personality that makes folks want to get to know her. Plus, she has this infectious laugh that I could hear from my house, about 200 feet from hers, on warm summer nights when all our windows were open.

Until I met Sue, Maria was the lady of my house. When I met Sue, and Maria met Mike, the family expanded to include our partners and Mike's son Gene.

Leaving all that behind was the hardest part of moving from Patterson to San Jose for me. But, we still remained close friends. Maria did Susie's hair at both our wedding and my middle son Jeff's wedding. I photographed Maria and Mike's wedding.

The funny thing is; I always thought I got the better end of the deal and felt sad that I was not able to give back to her and her kids anywhere near as much as she gave to me and mine. Now, 20 years later, all the boys are grown men. My older sons are now the age I was then.

It was not until September of 2012, when Sue and I went to Maria's youngest son Nick's wedding, that her sons expressed how happy they were to see me and how much I had helped them and how much my sons and our big crazy patched together family we had then still meant to them now. My heart melted and I was in tears.

I could not have made it back then, as a single dad, without my female friends; especially Maria. I love her and always will.

Halfway to my goal

Some of my friends do not know this, but I used to be 325 pounds. That was around 25 years ago. I started loosing weight as a life choice, literally. The key to me for loosing weight was not just going on a diet and exercising, it was looking inside and coming to grips with the issues that led me to gain the weight in the first place. I had to ask, "why had I chosen to gain the weight?"
That is why most diets fail I think. I think many people, such as me, choose unconsciously to put a layer of insulation as a shield between themselves and the outside world. I remember after I lost the weight feeling terribly exposed and vulnerable; even physically cold.
I remember back in the early 90's, even before the death of my first wife in a car accident, feeling like I was transported to a strange planet. The easy thing to do would have been to go home, to food. Frankly, it was very hard not to. For awhile, especially after the car accident, I was a loose cannon.
Now, here and today: This time my goals are smaller. I am halfway to shedding 34 pounds. But, the process is similar. Because, you see, it is not about how many pounds you have or about eating less and exercising more. That is the process, the tool. In my opinion what you are really doing is changing your life, becoming a different person, recreating your identity and sense of self.
Lacking that, I believe most diets are doomed to fail. Because, I think, they miss the point. It's easier to change your diet than to change yourself.

Old People's Music

Recently I spent a couple of days chasing trains and doing photography with my 12-year-old grandson Cazden. We were driving home from Sacramento in the evening and we were both kind of zoned out. I asked Cazden if he would mind if I put on some music. He said, "gramps, what kind of music do you listen to?" I answered, "old people's music."

He accepted that as a very logical answer. So, I started playing the Grateful Dead on my iPod plugged into the car stereo. I guess I was waiting for him to say, "Gramps, that's not old people's music!" But, he never did.

I guess looking at it from his perspective, The Grateful Dead IS old people's music.

Steve's Vegitarian Tofu Chili

Sauce

• 12 ounce beer (amber or dark ale preferred)
• 1 14-18 oz can of tomato sauce
• Veggie broth to thin if needed
• One 28 ounce canned whole, crushed or diced tomatoes, with liquid.

Spices

• 3 tablespoons of chili powder (good chili powder makes all the difference in the world)
• Salt and pepper to taste (less is more, none may be best)
• 1/2 teaspoon of ground cumin
• Bay leaf
• optional: 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (if you like it hot, I prefer to leave this out)

Content

• 14 to 20 ounces (like a pound) of firm tofu cut into small cubes, like 1/4 inch sized.
• One cup of fresh sliced mushrooms (canned or reconstituted dried if you must)
• One green or red or red bell pepper
• Two 14-18 ounce cans of beans. one of kidney beans, one (cooks choice) drained and rinsed (for your partner's sake).
• One yellow onion diced

Misc

• 3 or so tbsp Olive oil
• 3 cloves, or a generous tablespoon, of minced garlic (more is more)

Procedure:
In about a five quart pot, like a dutch oven, pour your sauce ingredients, except the broth, and let them start heating up. Add your spices your dutch oven (or other pot) and let it come to a simmer. Meanwhile prepare your content items by slicing, mincing, dicing and doing all the needed cutting. In a frying pan, over high heat, saute your tofu in the olive oil and the garlic for about three minutes. Then, add it to your dutch oven (or other pot) where your sauce is simmering. Repeat this procedure with your onion, you may want to reduce the heat, and saute in more olive oil until onion is just translucent and add it to your sauce. Repeat this procedure with your pepper, you may want to reduce the heat, and saute in more olive oil until pepper just gets some black marks and is softer. Again, add it to your sauce. Now add in your beans. If it's too thick add veggie broth to thin to desired consistency. Simmer for an hour, with occasional stirring, scraping the bottom and turning things over.

Another trip around the sun

Christmas Eve at Steve and Luci's

So here we are, another trip around the sun is complete. What an interesting trip it is. It's always changing. Nothing stays the same, does it?

Here is how the last trip around the sun ended for my family and I. Click this to see our collection of holiday 2011 photos.

My Cycling Manifesto

My new Gunnar purchased Nov. 2012.

As I look into the new year and where I want to go with my cycling I have been looking at what worked last year, what didn't work, my successes, disappointments, and where I want to go with my riding in the future. To do that I have decided to write a manifesto to shape my approach to the bicycle.

I plan to add to this blog post over time.

Here is my cycling manifesto:

• A bicycle is a tool, and it is more than a tool. It is both and each. And, it is more. A bicycle is:
  • Transportation.
  • A toy that can transport us back to our childhood.
  • A statement that health matters.
  • A statement that the environment matters.
  • An object of functional art and craftsmanship, an aesthetic.
  • An extension of oneself, of being one with the machine and the road.
• It doesn't matter how far or how fast you go. No matter how far or how fast you go, there will always be people who go further and faster.
• Finishing first does not matter, neither does finishing last. The last rider who completes the ride finishes ahead of everybody who didn't even try.
• It is not worth doing if you do not enjoy it. Contrary to popular belief there is no direct relationship between pain and gain. Pain is pain and gain is gain. No pain is no pain. It is okay to stop when it hurts. It is possible to achieve without hurting.
• Low gears are good things, REALLY low gears are great things. Sacrificing low gears for the sake of having high gears is silly. If you spin out your top gears going downhill you can always coast. If your gears are not low enough going uphill you are walking, or worse if you stand up and push a really high gear and break a crank, or pop your knee, you will not be riding at all and may be badly hurt.
• Cycling with friends is good. Cycling alone is good. They are just different types of good.
  • Supported rides, like tours or event centuries, are only fun if you have a dedicated riding buddy or buddies. Carrying food is no big hassle. If I am going to ride alone I see no point in paying to do so.
  • When I am riding with a friend, or friends, we ride as a group and stop as a group because we are riding to be together. Being together is the point!
  • The best part of riding alone is not needing to suit anyone but yourself. Stopping to take a picture inconveniences nobody. The best part of riding together is being able to be together.
• A bike should be as reasonably light as reasonably possible but it MUST be as strong as it needs to be, to be safe and dependable. Safe and dependable are more important considerations than light and fast or pretty.

Resolution 6 - Be more mindful

Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated that that.
It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.

~Sylvia Boorstein

I think we are in crisis of mindlessness in our society. We keep coming up with ways to distract us from the world around us. We have distracted eating, distracted driving, distracted working, and we have even come up with ways to distract ourselves from our friendships. We have invented social media tools to distract us from having real human relationships. We teach our kids at an early age to not look out the window as we drive our car, to not talk with or engage with the people around them and to instead consume a constant stream of commercial media. That becomes their reality.

Is it no wonder our kids have attention deficit and can't communicate in the real world anymore? It is my last last resolution to be more mindfully a part of the real world, embrace what I am doing, what others are doing, what is going on, to unplug, tune in, and to embrace the real analog world that is here, now and tangible. Each moment is unique and there are no ordinary moments.

Resolution 5 - Shoot more film

I resolve to shoot more film in 2012. Why, because I like to. It's a hobby after all - so that is all the justification I need. It's also becoming a lost art. Less people are doing it. Fewer historical moments are being captured on this relatively archival medium. After all, we still have pictures from the civil war available that were captured on the medium. It is a fading art and I want to keep doing it. At least until I am dead, or I can't get film anymore and my 100 foot rolls in my freezer are used up.

Until then: you can have my film cameras when you pry my cold dead fingers off the shutter release.

Resolution 4 - Learn to cook with Tofu

I am trying to cut back on animal and processed fats. I have had too many friends die at young ages from heart attacks and have struggled too long with obesity myself. This will not guaranty I won't die at a young age from a heart attack, but this and exercise, is among the things I can do. Besides, I will not be missing that much. I do not need all that cholesterol. I don't even like the way eating too much of that greasy food feels! Thus, I am embracing some vegetarian options.

Sue's Eggplant Parmesan

Ingredients

• 4 cups vegetable oil (Wesson oil) or olive oil
• 3 medium-large eggplants, peeled and thinly sliced (about 1/4" thick)
• 3 -4 eggs, beaten
• 4 cups Italian seasoned bread crumbs
• 6 cups pasta sauce
• 1 (16 ounce) package mozzarella cheese, shredded
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Fill a large skillet with about 1/4-inch of oil, heat over medium heat heat until hot.
2. Working with 1 slice at a time, dip eggplant in egg, let excess drip off, and then dip in bread crumbs until evenly coated.
3. Fry eggplant, turning over once, until golden brown on each side. Set aside until all eggplant is fried.
4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
5. Layer eggplant in a 9x13 inch baking dish.
   Spread thin layer of sauce to cover the bottom of baking dish. Place a layer of eggplant slices in the sauce.
   Sprinkle the eggplant with generous amount of parmesan cheese, sprinkle shredded mozzarella, and add a thin layer of sauce.
   Repeat. Ideally, end up with 3 layers of eggplant.
6. Bake for 35 minutes, or until sauce is sizzling around the edges of the dish.

Resolution 3 - Ride My Bike More

I do not have any big cycling goals this year, no big centuries, no big tours. My goal is just to have fun riding my bike, riding the kind of rides I like, sometimes riding alone, more often with friends and maybe even riding with family. I did a lot of this in 2011, but kinda petered out after Whine and Dine season started. Starting soon, starting next weekend, I hope!

Resolution 2 - Make More Time For Friends.

Friending someone on Facebook, and occasionally liking their posts, is not in and of itself how you make and maintain a friendship. I am not saying technology is bad, it just can't take the place of being in the moment and having real human interaction. I know we cannot always be together, e-mail is nice but nothing says "you matter" as much as a letter sent through the mail, or a phone call or better yet a lunch together.

My second resolution is to make more time for friends, in the real world. More face time, less Facebook time.

2012 New Years Resolution #1

Resolution - No more supported bike rides without a riding buddy

I went on three supported cycling event rides in 2012. I only really had fun on one of them, and that one was a blast! My friend Elaine and I promised to stick together no matter what; and we did. We had great conversations and even got lost together; no problem!

On the other two I rode alone and that was much less fun. I don't mind riding alone, but if I am doing so I just as soon not have to worry about making it to rest stops before they close; or feel like I have to ride a set distance, no matter what and no matter the weather. I am a fair weather cyclist. If I am riding alone, with nobody to talk to, I would rather carry my own food, maybe a camera, and set my own agenda.

Linguine with White Clam Sauce

Amazingly simple, and good too!

Ingredients

Quantity	Unit	Description
1	lb.	Linguine
4	tbs.	butter
1	lg. clove	garlic (1 or 2 tsp. of minced garlic works too!)
2	tbs.	flour
2	7 oz. cans	Snows Minced Clams
4	tbs.	Chopped Parsley
3/4	tsp.	dried thyme
3/4	tsp.	dried basil
varies	varies	Salt and Pepper to taste

Procedure

Heat butter and cook garlic about 1 minute. Stir in flour and juice from clams. Bring to a full boil, stirring. Add clams, parsley, thyme and basil and simmer 5 minutes, stirring. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve with hot cooked linguine.

Serving Suggestions

Makes 8 servings. Really good served with a white wine, like Chardonnay (or even the cheap Almaden stuff), and some decent bread like Colombo Extra Sour Dough French bread or better yet, Il Fornaio Country Loaf.

History

This recipe came off a pasta box and was a staple of my years as a single parent in Patterson. It was easy to make and could feed a tribe. Sue tried to modify the recipe once by substituting granulated sugar for flour, which didn't work.

Corn Bread to go with the Chili

Goes great with a big pot of good Chili.

There is no secret to this except one. Coat the pan with butter then flour before pouring the batter in. Yes, like a cake and for the same reason. Then, when it is done you can just turn the pan over and it will drop out and never, ever stick. Drop onto a plate upside down, then put a second plate on top and turn it over, the result is a perfect corn bread!

Ingredients

Quantity	Description
1 cup	Yellow Corn Meal
1 cup	Flour
1/4 cup	Sugar
1 tbs.	Baking Powder
1-2 shake(s)	Salt
1/3 cup	Oil (like Wesson Oil)
1	Egg
1 cup	Milk

Procedure

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees (F.)
• Combine dry ingredients in larger bowl and mix well.
• Combine oil, egg and milk together and mix well.
• Stir wet ingredients into dry ingredients until just blended.
• Pour into well buttered 8 inch square or 9 inch round pan.
• Bake 25 minutes or until done.

Serving Suggestions

Really good served warm with butter, beer (preferably a Southern Tier Phin & Matt’s Pale Ale) and chili.

History

This recipe is a family favorite. It's slightly modified from the one right off the Albers box.

Dad's easy chili

Triple Batch Ingredients

Quantity	Description
2 lbs.	Lean Ground Beef
1 lb.	Ground Turkey
2 ea.	Medium Onion, chopped
1 ea.	Chopped Green Pepper, chopped
3 ea.	1 pound cans, or 48 ounces, Tomatoes, broken up
1 ea.	1 lb. can, Dark Red Kidney Beans, drained
1 ea.	1 lb. can, Pinto Beans, drained
1 ea.	1 lb. can, Black Beans, drained
1 ea.	1 lb. can, Pinquento Beans, drained
4 ea.	8 ounce cans, or 2x 16 oz., or 32 ounces of Tomato Sauce
1	Dash of salt.
6 tsp.	Chili Powder (Good stuff tastes better!)
3 ea.	Bay Leaves
2 tsp.	Ground Cumin
1 small or medium can	Diced Green Chili's
If you dare!	A bit of crushed red pepper and minced jalapenos and/or bottle of beer, preferably an amber ale.

Procedure

• Cook chopped onions and pepper in a dab of butter until onions are translucent and peppers are softer, set aside.
• Fry the meat in a large covered skillet until meat is lightly browned, drain when almost done and add onions/peppers, green chilies and cook a bit more with stirring.
• Meanwhile, in large pot, mix all other ingredients and start heating.
• When skillet mixture is ready add it to pot.
• Cover and simmer an hour. Stir every now and then.
• When done remove bay leaves.

Serving Suggestions

Makes boucoup Chili. Really good served with beer and corn bread.

History

This recipe is a family favorite. It evolved from the Chili recipe in the Homes and Garden cookbook. Dad significantly modified it to suit family tastes.

Candy's Jalapeño Pepper Jelly

Important: Use rubber gloves when preparing pepper jelly

Ingredients

• 4 Large green peppers (bell peppers)
• 14 Medium jalapeno peppers.
• 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice.
• 1 cup cider vinegar
• 6 cups sugar
• 6 ounces liquid pectin
• (optional) green food coloring

Tools

• Rubber gloves
• Measuring cups and spoons
• Blender
• Heavy four quart saucepan
• Sterilized canning jars

Procedure
Seed and grind the peppers in a blender. Combine this with lemon juice, vinegar and sugar in a heavy four quart saucepan. Bring to a rolling boil. Boil, stirring constantly, for about 15 minutes. Add the pectin and boil for 3 to 5 minutes more. Remove from heat and (if desired) add the green food coloring, a few drops at a time to make the jelly a bright green. Cool slightly, stirring occasionally and spoon into sterilized jars. Seal immediately and store in a cool dry place.
Serving
Serve with cream cheese and crackers for a colorful and easy appetizer.

My Capitol Subaru San Jose Horror Story

Over the July 4th weekend 2011 my battery light came on in my 2006 Forester. When I brought it in to Capitol Subaru in San Jose, CA on July 5, the service consultant Mike Wallace gave me an initial estimate of $145 and said it would be ready that afternoon.

Since I did not have another car, Mike offered me a ride to the public transit station. I chose to walk.

That afternoon Mike called me and told me that the alternator had gone out and they did not have a replacement in stock. He said it would take two days to get a replacement and he did not offer me a loaner car. I was surprised the alternator on a Subaru went out at barely over 70,000 miles. I have had Hondas, Acuras, Toyotas and even Fords, Chevys and Dodges and I never replaced an alternator at 70,000. I was also surprised a dealer did not have that part, that they wanted $750 to replace it, and that it would take two days to get it. But, what really surprised me was that there was no loaner car offered. When I take my wife's Honda in for service, even if it is a matter of only a few hours they always say, "would you like a loaner car Mister Sloan?"

Two days of using public transportation later Mike called again. He said the Subaru part will not be in for ...two months. So, he said, they could put in a third party rebuilt (used) alternator. But, he said, there would be no warranty on the installation. When I complained he said he could give me a 10 percent discount. The cost was about $675 for the installation of a part I could have gotten put in at a gas station. I still do not have my car. It was in pieces at Capitol Subaru. There was still no offer of a loaner. What choice did I have?

I already told them to get me my car, fix it. I also told them I am never buying another Subaru, or going back to Capitol Subaru. The whole situation reminds me of the car dealer in Fargo (reference is to the movie).

I began to wonder if my car would have the undercoating applied when I got there. I am sure their equivalent of "Jerry" has already taken care of it. If I see William Macy in the show room I will know for sure. Even so, as a Honda owner I have NEVER heard of a Honda alternator dying at 70K!

Just got my car. After sticking me $700 for a no warranty alternator I noticed as I was driving home, they didn't even reset my clock in the car. I know it’s a little thing. But, it seemed symbolic. Capitol Subaru, what a joke.

It is still hard to believe they did not have a single new Subaru replacement alternator in the whole US (according to my Mike.) But, they were happy to sell me a rebuilt third party alternator for the same ..price (they charged me $499 for the part) without a warranty. Now, before you say "it's just the dealer." It's who Subaru US authorized to carry their brand. Oh yea, they had me walking on the street and taking the bus and light rail for two days. When I drop off my Honda, I am offered a loaner car; no cost, no question. Subaru offered to give me a ride to the light rail station. I walked.

A week before this happened, my wife and I were talking about replacing her 2004 Honda Accord. We were considering a new Subaru Impreza. After this experience, I would never buy another Subaru again.

Just for grins I checked Amazon for new alternators for my car.....  $185. Then I went to Kragan, they wanted $230 for the part that Capital  Subaru charged me $499 for.  We obviously feel we were ripped off and  got horrible service and are extremely dissatisfied that we were left with a used part and no warranty on the labor.

My letter to Subaru USA, in PDF format, on this subject is here.

Got the bastard!

Is it bad to be glad Osama is gone? Is it bad to be glad he will not be killing any more of our friends, parents, siblings, sons or daughters? What if the November 8th 1939, Munich bomb planted by Georg Elser had killed Hitler? Is it bad to wish it had?
At some point the only response to deadly force is deadly force. Should we have unilaterally disarmed in the 1930's instead? Should we then and now disband our military? Should the sailors manning the guns on the ships that were being bombed at Pearl Harbor not shot back?
Unilateral disarmament has a poor track record of success compared to failure. Appeasement of tyrants seldom works. When Neville Chamberlain signed the Munich Agreement in 1938, and Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland was handed over to the Nazi German Reich, the result was not peace in our time. Killing Osama is a risk. But, I think it was a risk we had to take. I don't think surrender was an alternative. I am not celebrating in the streets; but I remember watching those towers fall. I was not in New York on 9-11. Had it been my family in those towers; I might be celebrating, you might be too.
To the brave soldiers who put their lives on the line to terminate Osama's command with extreme prejudice, I say thank you. A thousand times; thank you.

Twenty years ago today

Candy in 1976 at John Muir House

Click on photo to enlarge

Twenty years ago today Candy; the mother of my children, my first wife, died in a car accident. Following the recent unexpected passing of a friend's spouse, and thinking of what happened to my family and I; I wrote this:

A moment of a moment

April 4, 2011

In a moment, of a moment,
everything changes.
What was once granite,
becomes dust.
Our solid handhold;
sifts through our fingers.
We are left falling,
an abyss,
with no bottom.
It is the great injustice,
that defines us!
It is;
our mortality.